Five Times Gwen was glad she wasn't Ianto Jones
by WylieCoyote
Summary: ...and the one time she wished she was. Gwhys, implied Janto, one-sided Gwack


**I apologize ahead of time for any spelling errors ;p**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood**

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**1.** Ianto's Cybergirlfriend is better than yours (post "Cyberwoman")

Gwen lay in the darkness of her bedroom, staring up at the ceiling; thinking about all the things Ianto had done just to save the girl he loved and wondered if she'd do the same for Rhys. Would she lie, commit horrible treason, cost the lives of others; even when it wasn't guaranteed he'd be saved? Gwen glanced to her right. The moonlight streaked through the shades and cast shadows on her lover's face making him appear younger.

She smiled to herself and snuggled closer to Rhys, kissing him tenderly on the forehead. Gwen hated keeping Torchwood from him; no, she resented it. But, for now, she was grateful for not having to make that difficult decision.

**2.** The day Gwen Cooper decided she might become a vegetarian (during "Countryside")

"Where's Ianto, what have you done with him?!" Toshiko demanded, voice shrill.

The grubby man reached behind the counter stained with blood and forced a body upward. He tore the sack off the body's head and revealed a disoriented Ianto Jones.

Oh my god... Gwen thought.

"Wake up," the cannibal snarls with cruel calmness. "Time to be bled."

What!?

"Like veal, it takes a long time; but it definitely makes the meat taste better."

He raised a butchers knife, stained in scarlet at the edge, and held it close to Ianto's neck. The young man let out a muffled protest, eyes widening in terror. Gwen swallowed hard and glanced over to Owen and Tosh who were just as helpless as she was.

That was when the ground began to rumble beneath them. The cannibal cursed and shoved Ianto aside to see what was going on. Gwen, instinctively scrambled over to Ianto, catching him with arms. "It'll be alright, we're going to get out of here, sweetheart," Gwen assured. As gunshots rang out and she comforted her friend, Gwen knew her simple gunshot wound could be much worse.

**3**. Myfawny gets the stomach flu (sometime after "Meat")

Truly, Gwen didn't hate Myfawny, but she wasn't head over heels in love with the beast as Jack was either. To be completely honest, the Welshwoman often got the idea that the feeling was mutual. Whenever Myfawny would fly around the Hub, it was always Gwen she nearly scratched with her claws as she swooped downwards. So bless it for Ianto Jones that she didn't have to get within a few feet of the pterodactyl.

"Morning," Gwen chirped, hanging up her coat. The rest of the team seemed to ignore her. They were all looking grimly up at Myfawny's nest. "Oi, what's occurring?" Gwen asked, coming to stand next to Owen.

"Thing's caught some kind of illness," Owen grumbled.

"Oh, well if she's sick, shouldn't you be checking on her?" Gwen inquired, arms crossing over her chest.

Owen snorted. "Bloody hell, no way am I getting close to a puking dinosaur."

"Poor girl..." Toshiko commented, maybe to herself.

Gwen glanced around. "Jack, where's Ianto?" she asked.

The ghost of a smirk came over the immortal man's face. He leaned against the door frame of his office. "Where do you think?"

Gwen's eyebrows quirked up. She looked up to the nest. "No, he isn't," Gwen said, stifling a laugh. Her colleagues nodded. "You're horrible."

"Aw, the thing loves Teaboy," Owen sniggered. "He's practically volunteered."

Gwen was about to defend her friend, but was cut short at the sound of gagging from up above.

**4.** The Invisible Man (during "Pack Animals"; a Torchwood novel)

Gwen wasn't sure whether to pity the young Welshman or feel extremely awkward around him. He was naked after all. Gwen thought it must be like those nightmares when you show up to work in your birthday suite, but no one seems to notice. Owen was having a field day with this, mercilessly throwing 'invisible' jokes at Ianto. Toshiko seemed to be as uncomfortable as Gwen; and Jack...Well, Gwen was certain her boss was soaking up the idea of a naked Ianto walking around the Hub.

While, being nude and strolling around in public was the exact definition of demeaning and any man who named his dog Trevor should be stripped of any respect; Gwen realized that the rest of the team needed to seriously admire Ianto more after all this was over. If Gwen had the option, she'd rather be mauled by a weevil and tossed into the rift before she walked about naked.

**5.** Sisterhood of the Traveling Blouses (post "Almost Perfect"; another Torchwood novel)

No matter what you say, Gwen Cooper will deny ever being envious of what a gorgeous woman Ianto Jones made because that was just plain daft. She loved her appearance and wouldn't want another. Okay, sure; would it be nice to effortlessly have men flocking over her for said looks but Gwen wasn't complaining. She honestly wasn't.

Besides, Gwen always would remind herself that while Ianto attracted for attention than he probably ever had in his lifetime with those bloody perfect curves, it in no way made up for being trapped in the body of your opposite sex. She'd seen how uncomfortable Ianto had been; Ianto even confided in feeling like Jack was rubbish and he had no one to talk to but her. Poor lamb. But, Ianto would be Ianto again tomorrow morning and everything would return to normal. By Torchwood standards that is.

Gwen was putting away the blouses that now belonged to her, and wondered briefly what she would have done if it were her who'd woken up miraculously a man. There'd of course, be the initial shock and panic...then what...another matter crossed her mind and it suddenly occurred to Gwen that being Ianto Jones, he probably still showered daily. How awkward had that been? Gwen decided she'd refrain herself from asking.

That night, before she went to sleep; Gwen rushed to the bathroom and flicked on the light switch. She smiled at the very female face, and the reflection smiled back. Gwen turned the lights back off and walked to her bed, curling up under the covers with Rhys and thanking god that she was still Gwen Cooper-Williams.

**1**. And the one time that she wished she was...

"Damn!" Gwen cursed, and stopped the car abruptly.

"What? Is something wrong?" Rhys asked on the other end of the phone.

Gwen put the car into reverse and began driving back towards Roald Dahl Plass. "No," she sighed, "I left my jacket at the Hub; It's got some weevil blood stains in it and according to Ianto if you don't deal with those quickly, then they'll never come out."

"I'll keep your dinner warm."

"Thanks; love you," Gwen said, hanging up. She parked the car and hurried down to the tourist entrance. When the cog wheel rolled past, the Hub was already plunged in darkness. Gwen could see well enough though so she didn't have to turn the lights back on to locate the coat hanger. She grabbed the jacket and was about to leave, when she heard faint voices. Gwen frowned. Carefully, the Welshwoman navigated towards the source.

Gwen wasn't stupid, she knew it was Jack and Ianto; but her curious nature won over logic to leave them alone. She stopped in front of the CCTV of the rooftop. Ah, there they were. Gwen zoomed in and focused the image. The pair of them were sitting on the edge of the roof.

"I can't believe you actually heard all of that," Ianto sighed.

"I couldn't make everything out," Jack explained with a casual shrug. "Just fragments. But I caught enough."

Ianto stared down at the city bellow, feet swaying back and forth a bit. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"What for?" Jack asked. When the Welshman's only reply was silence, Jack added, "I meant what I said back at the hospital and I know you did too." He reached over and took Ianto's hand in his, squeezing it. "Look...we'll never have a normal relationship. When you're in Torchwood, nothing will ever be normal so I can't make any promises"- Jack paused, waiting until Ianto made eye contact with him- "but you have to know that...those nights when I'm dreaming; I'm dreaming of a universe where I can."

Gwen felt something tug at her heart when she sees the expression that comes over Ianto's face. By the time they've engaged in a leading-straight-to-the-bedroom snog, Gwen's not sure how to react. She wants to be happy for them, she wants to be proud that they've developed a good, strong relationship; but... Gwen would be lying to herself if she said she was jumping for joy over this. Somewhere, deep down and buried in her subconscious; Gwen knew she'd always hope that Jack's thing with Ianto was just shagging and her husband would wake up one day and realize it wasn't Gwen who could do better- it was Rhys.

Jack and Ianto wavered slightly, and Jack immediately tightened his arms around the young man; stabilizing them. They both laughed and backed off the ledge of the building. Lingering kisses against grinning mouths as they headed inside.

Gwen cursed under her breath and fixed the CCTV. She put on her jacket and was out the door in record time. For a few minutes, Gwen sat in her car, hands on the wheel but not moving from the Plass. She breathed in, then let out an exhausted breath. Gwen turned on the radio and leaned back in her seat, trying to make sense of her thoughts and emotions were doing. What made it worse, was this wasn't new. How often did she find herself longing for Jack Harkness when she had perfectly sweet and loving Rhys Williams? And Ianto; Ianto was like a brother to her and Gwen was still overcome with guilt for sleeping with Owen even though she knew Toshiko fancied him. She couldn't do that to a friend again.

As Gwen began to drive home, she tried not to think about what Jack was doing with Ianto right now; and then she tried even harder not to wish she was in his place.

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**This isn't my best work guys, sorry!**


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